Part 2: What Happens in Mental Coaching: A Parent’s Guide to Supporting Your Athlete

What Happens in Mental Coaching: A Parent's Guide

Part 2: What Happens in Mental Coaching: A Parent's Guide to Supporting Your Athlete

If you missed last week's post on why mental training matters and the common barriers athletes face, read it here to understand the foundation of mental performance coaching. As a mental coach for young men and women in sports, one of the most common questions I hear from parents is: "What actually happens in these sessions?". It's a fair question. Unlike physical training where you can watch your athlete run drills or lift weights, mental coaching can feel abstract and mysterious. Let me pull back the curtain and show you exactly what mental coaching looks like in practice, the specific skills your athlete will develop, and how you can best support their mental training journey.

The Intake Process: What Your Athlete Can Expect

Building Trust Through Understanding

The first session focuses entirely on understanding your athlete as a complete person. I ask about their sport, obviously, but also about their life outside athletics. What brings them joy? What stresses them? How do they currently cope with pressure? What does success mean to them? This holistic perspective matters because athletic performance doesn't exist in isolation. A stressful home situation affects focus. Academic struggles impact confidence. Relationship problems influence team dynamics. By understanding the whole person, I can identify factors affecting performance that might otherwise remain invisible. Trust develops when athletes feel genuinely heard rather than quickly diagnosed and prescribed solutions. I approach intake sessions with curiosity rather than assumptions, creating space for your teen to share their experience authentically.

Athlete discussing mental performance with a coach

Collaborative Goal-Setting

After understanding your athlete's current situation, we collaboratively establish goals. I don't tell athletes what they should want to achieve—they determine their objectives. This ownership over goal-setting increases motivation and engagement throughout the coaching process. Goals might include managing competition anxiety, rebuilding confidence after injury, improving focus during games, communicating more effectively with coaches, or developing pre-performance routines. Some athletes seek help with specific situations; others want comprehensive mental skills development. We establish both performance goals (outcomes in competition) and process goals (mental skills to develop). This dual focus ensures athletes work toward concrete improvements while building sustainable mental capabilities that serve them beyond immediate competitive concerns.

Creating Your Customized Mental Training Plan

Based on assessment and goals, I develop a personalized mental training plan. This plan outlines specific interventions, practice exercises, and progress markers tailored to your athlete's needs. Some plans emphasize anxiety reduction techniques, while others focus on confidence building or concentration training. The plan remains flexible. As your athlete progresses, we adjust approaches based on what's working and what needs modification. Mental training isn't rigid—it evolves as athletes develop new skills and face changing circumstances.

Ongoing Support: What Happens After Initial Sessions

Regular Check-Ins and Progress Evaluation

Mental training isn't a one-time fix—it's an ongoing development process. I maintain regular contact with athletes through scheduled sessions where we evaluate progress, troubleshoot challenges, and refine techniques. These check-ins serve multiple purposes. They provide accountability for practicing mental skills between sessions. They offer opportunities to address new challenges as they emerge. They allow us to celebrate progress and acknowledge growth, reinforcing positive changes.

Adapting to Changing Needs Throughout Seasons

Athletic seasons follow predictable rhythms with distinct psychological demands. Pre-season brings anticipation and preparation. Early season involves establishing performance patterns. Mid-season often features fatigue and maintaining consistency. Late season brings increased pressure as championships approach. Post-season requires processing results and planning ahead. I adjust mental training focus based on seasonal demands. Pre-season might emphasize goal-setting and building confidence. Mid-season could focus on maintaining consistency and managing fatigue. Late season often involves pressure management and staying present under high stakes. I also have appointments in the morning, during lunchtime, and in the evenings. Activity is important to our mental health, so I recognize that it’s important to have a wide choice of appointments open. I also do telehealth throughout Oklahoma, so it’s possible to meet with me while they ride in the car with you or once they eat dinner at home.

Supporting Performance During Critical Moments

Athletes face pivotal moments—championship games, college recruitment showcases, comeback attempts after injury, or leadership opportunities. During these critical periods, I provide additional support to help athletes perform their best when it matters most. This might involve intensified pre-competition preparation, real-time support between rounds or games, or immediate post-performance processing. Knowing support exists during high-pressure moments helps athletes approach these situations with confidence rather than fear.

Mental Skills Athletes Develop Through Coaching

Building Stable, Results-Independent Confidence

Sustainable confidence doesn't fluctuate based on recent outcomes. Through mental coaching, athletes develop confidence rooted in their preparation, character, and ability to handle adversity—factors they control regardless of competitive results. This process involves identifying confidence sources beyond performance outcomes: work ethic, sport knowledge, physical preparation, mental skills, support system, and personal values. Athletes learn to draw confidence from these stable foundations rather than the unpredictable roller coaster of wins and losses. As discussed in last week's post, confidence fluctuations represent one of the most common mental barriers athletes face. Building stable confidence addresses this challenge directly.

Developing Pre-Performance Routines and Rituals

Consistent pre-performance routines create psychological stability and readiness. These routines might include physical warm-up sequences, mental preparation exercises, music selection, visualization practices, or breathing techniques. Effective routines provide familiar structure during stressful situations, shift focus from outcomes to controllable processes, and trigger mental states associated with optimal performance. Athletes work with me to design personalized routines aligned with their preferences and sport demands.

Managing Competition Anxiety and Performance Pressure

The goal isn't eliminating anxiety but managing it productively. I teach athletes multiple anxiety management strategies: progressive muscle relaxation, controlled breathing techniques, cognitive reframing, attention control, and acceptance-based approaches. Through ACT principles, athletes also learn they can perform effectively even while experiencing anxiety. Rather than waiting until nerves disappear, they develop the ability to compete with anxiety present. This acceptance approach often reduces anxiety paradoxically by removing the additional stress of trying to eliminate uncomfortable feelings.

Enhancing Focus and Concentration Under Pressure

Mental training develops attentional control—the ability to direct focus intentionally. Athletes learn to identify optimal attention focus for different situations. Concentration training includes distraction exercises where athletes practice maintaining focus despite deliberate interruptions. This builds mental toughness and preparation for actual competition distractions.

Developing Mental Resilience and Bounce-Back Ability

Resilience determines how quickly and effectively athletes respond to adversity. Mental coaching builds resilience by teaching athletes to view setbacks as information rather than indictments. They develop self-compassion to counter harsh self-criticism and build perspective by connecting performance to broader life values. When athletes connect competition to deeper personal values—growth, teamwork, perseverance, joy—they maintain motivation despite setbacks.

How Parents Can Support Their Athlete's Mental Development

Recognizing Signs Your Teen Might Need Support

Many athletes won't directly ask for mental performance help. Watch for these indicators: persistent nervousness or dread before competitions, significant performance differences between practice and games, excessive self-criticism, or loss of enjoyment in their sport. If you notice persistent patterns lasting two to four weeks, consider consulting with a professional. As noted in last week's discussion, these signs might indicate either performance barriers or deeper mental health concerns.

Creating a Supportive Home Environment

Your role as a parent profoundly impacts your athlete's mental well-being. Separate performance from worth by communicating that you value your teen independent of athletic outcomes. Ask open-ended questions like "I noticed you seemed quieter after practice today" rather than assuming what is wrong. Listen more than you advise, resist immediate problem-solving, and normalize struggles as part of development. Support their aspirations rather than imposing your vision for their athletic career.

Quick Takeaways

Personalized Assessment: Mental coaching begins with an assessment where athletes select their own goals, ensuring training addresses their actual needs.
Seasonal Adaptation: Regular check-ins ensure mental training evolves with changing needs throughout competitive cycles.
Core Mental Skills: Athletes develop five core skills: stable confidence, pre-performance routines, anxiety management, focus enhancement, and resilience.
Parental Role: Parents support mental development by creating a supportive home environment and recognizing when additional help is needed.
Gradual Progress: Mental skill development follows patterns similar to physical skills—expect gradual improvement with ups and downs.
Flexible Delivery: Mental coaching works through in-person and online formats, with morning and evening options available.

The scoreboard only tells part of your athlete's story. Behind every performance lies a complex mental landscape that profoundly impacts what happens on the field, court, track, or pool. If you haven't read last week's post on understanding why mental training matters, start there to build your foundation. Your athlete doesn't have to navigate these challenges alone. With over two decades of experience, I understand what they're experiencing and how to help them develop the mental strength to succeed.

WHAT SPECIFIC MENTAL SKILL WOULD MAKE THE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE IN YOUR ATHLETE'S PERFORMANCE RIGHT NOW? SHARE IN THE COMMENTS BELOW.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How long does it typically take to see improvements from mental coaching?

Every athlete progresses at their own pace, but most notice some improvements within 4-6 weeks of consistent work. Like physical training, mental skills development is ongoing rather than a quick fix.

Q: Can mental coaching help with sport-specific challenges like the yips or returning from injury?

Absolutely. Mental coaching addresses numerous sport-specific challenges including the yips, injury recovery anxiety, comeback confidence, slumps, and choking under pressure. My approach includes working with actual game footage when relevant.

Q: How involved will I be as a parent in my athlete's mental coaching?

This varies based on your athlete's age and preferences. For younger teens, I often include parents in initial sessions. Older teens typically prefer more independence, and I respect their need for confidential space while still offering guidance to parents.

Q: Does mental coaching replace regular coaching or technical training?

No, mental coaching is a supplement to technical training. While your technical coach focus on the physical and tactical aspects of the sport, I focus on the internal psychological factors that allow your athlete to execute those skills under pressure.

References:
O'Connor, E. (2024). What is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy from a Sports Psychologist's Perspective.
Shamim Ahmed, A., et al. (2023). The Role of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy in Improving Athletes' Performance: A Systematic Review. Journal of Population Therapeutics and Clinical Pharmacology.
Mirhom, M. (2025). Beyond the Game: Protecting the Mental Health of Young Athletes. Athletes for Hope.
U.S. Center for SafeSport. (2023). Mental Health: Be a Team Player.