How you can help your family navigate social media

 

Many parents commit at the beginning to monitoring their child’s social media. The allow their child to use Instagram, TikTok or Twitter, but only with the additional clause “I have the right to look at your posts”. After a month of good behavior, those same parents will resign their role and let their adolescent use the social media unabated. After all, who wants to go snooping through their weird posts anyway?

Recent research by Facebook and the WSJ have shown recently social media use may be detrimental to the mental health of its younger users. Facebook, which owns Instagram, recently looked into that issue when developing a new app target at younger users, Instagram for Kids. After researching the mental health of teenage girls who use Instagram, Facebook has decided to pause the Instagram for Kids project. That’s right: social media said it isn’t good for everyone.

You probably don’t relate to your teen’s relationship with social media.

While you may relate to your teen on many levels, you probably don’t when it comes to social media. It hardly even existed a decade ago. If you had MySpace, then Facebook, today’s social media is much more important as an avenue to connectedness. One senior in college, Destinee Adams, said this about how she felt Instagram, “If I get this amount of likes, then I’m worthy. Or if I get this amount of likes, then my peers will comment on it. And if you don’t get a certain amount of likes that you think that you’re going to get, it makes you feel a little rejected. And it’s kind of overwhelming.”

Feelings of rejection and worry led to Adams being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and therapy. While she now has a much better relationship with Instagram, parents need to remember we can help guide our children in how to use it. Adams now says she doesn’t feel the need to watch the likes roll in, but instead will post and then put her phone down.

Here are a few things you can to do help your teen navigate social media:

1. Monitor their content and interactions online

Whether you use a service like Bark, WebSafety, KidLogger, or even use built-in controls like Family Groups on iPhones, you can keep abreast of what they’re doing online. Be open and let them know you can see what they’re doing.

2. Friend them on social media.

If they’re using a platform, let them know you’d like to be their friend. You can see what they’re posting and do so in a way that the rest of the world sees them.

3. Encourage open communication

Talk about social media openly as it is an extension of their real life. If they have issues, encourage them to talk to you. While you may want to say “I think TikTok is stupid”, realize saying this aloud will likely create a barrier between you and your child. Engage them as if social media is as important to you as it is for your child.

4. Lock settings if your concerned about a problematic app

Almost all devices have a way for you to make an app inaccessible. Put in your password and bam, locked out.

5. Set time limits for technology usage

Apple and PC products all have daily usage limits that everyone needs to consider. Putting an hour time limit and bedtime help us use technology but also maintain a health boundary with tech. Use them!