How not to have a Titanic 2021

We all had hopes and dreams for 2020…and then the COVID hit our shores in March. What started as small rumblings and isolated cases seemed to take center court in OKC, when the OKC Thunder vs Utah Jazz game was canceled minutes before tip-off. Everything seemed to freeze, events began to get postponed, the school went online, and we went into a full pandemic mode.. As we reflect on 2020, it may feel bad, like a one-way ticket on the Titanic. If it does, here a few things I learned from the Titanic disaster in 1912 compares to living in 2020 in the pandemic.

• Your standing matters. On the RMS Titanic, those traveling First Class were 44% more likely to survive than other passengers. This summer, with the deaths of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor and Ahmaud Arbery, we learned those with black and brown skin have less standing with many in our society. All three deaths were senseless and tragic. If you’ve got a first-class ticket in our society, do you help level the playing field? Consider listening and asking questions to those who are different than you.
• Nothing is unsinkable. The RMS Titanic was thought to be unsinkable because of its airtight bulkheads. However, it was only unsinkable as long as it stayed at the waterline. We found out quickly how shakeable our culture is when you add in social distancing, quarantining, and masks. Any issues families, schools, churches, or institutions had pre-pandemic were amplified as we introduced the rapid change and uncertainty of the COVID. Many thrived, like Walmart who added grocery delivery, or colleges that already did distance and online learning. Places that only offered in-person services, like many restaurants, closed forever. How do we plan for change and embrace change when life requires it? Parents have more tools in helping their kids navigate change than our parents had. Consider reading about your child’s life stage or a podcast on parenting. You don’t have to tread water.
• The problem you see isn’t the problem. The Titanic lookouts saw the iceberg, rang the warning bell, felt no collision, and thought they missed the iceberg. The lookouts didn’t realize the iceberg had a 300ft gash underneath the waterline of the ship. Ever had a family member blow up over nothing, a child lash out at you, or a coworker just go off? You may have thought “that wasn’t a bid deal.” You’re correct, the small issue your facing really isn’t a big deal, but the old issue or past slight is the actual problem. Take a break, cool off, and then ask genuinely “is there a bigger problem that we need to talk about?” Take time and consider there really may be something lurking beneath the waterline. Ask and explore, and be curious as you discuss.
• No one wants to go down with the ship. Captain Edward Smith went down with the Titanic. He made the saying “Going down with this ship” famous. Consider you may be in a no-win situation like Captain Smith. Maybe the culture, relationship, or workplace is broken and toxic. Do you have an exit strategy or graceful exit? It’s never the wrong decision to take it. There may be lifeboats like a private school, a career change, or greener pasture, too. You can choose not to engage with people who hurt or damage you. In most situations, there’s a way out. Jump in a lifeboat, it may be the best move for your family and wellbeing.
• Some will choose to fiddle while the boat sinks. Wallace Hartley and two others played their instruments on the top deck while the boat sank. While we like to romanticize this idea, the reality is these three accepted their fate rather than improve their situation. You will encounter those who, amidst the turmoil, will resign the fact they must accept it rather than improve their situation and get out. It may take creativity, more strength than you thought you had, and even help from others. Get out! Keep moving and don’t resign that you “have to” or “should”. You have options. Use them.
• You are more resilient than you think you are. The Unsinkable Molly Brown encouraged her fellow passengers as they boarded the lifeboats and then helped organize activities on the RMS Carpathia that rescued survivors. Molly was also recently separated from her husband and going to visit her ailing son. It’s easier to moan, complain, and second-guess than it is to encouraging and help. Take a look at your social media feed and compare optimism versus pessimism. Choose to be buoyant in life and bounce back from setbacks. Why not embrace opportunities as they come to learn and grow rather than bemoan them? Maybe instead of dreading “when will this all be over” we should say “how can I grow through this?” Check on each other, take care of yourself, and be a better you in the year. Don’t let 2021 be a Titanic fail.